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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29758215">I Knew Him</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/strcrssd/pseuds/strcrssd'>strcrssd</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Daredevil (TV), The Defenders (Marvel TV), The Punisher (TV 2017)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Grieving, M/M, Post-Episode: s01e08 The Defenders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:29:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>770</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29758215</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/strcrssd/pseuds/strcrssd</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank and Karen meet up after the events of Defenders. He gets news that tilt the balance of his steady stance.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Frank Castle &amp; Karen Page, Frank Castle &amp; Matt Murdock, Frank Castle/Matt Murdock</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Knew Him</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I knew him.”</p><p> </p><p>Pain. See, pain can be felt in a lot of ways. The pain from getting shot through your shoulder is different from the pain you feel from your heart breaking.<i> No Shit.</i> He is acquainted with it; all types of it, really. Everyone who has looked at him once probably knows that pain’s an old friend. He’s always sporting a bruise on his face, bloodied knuckles, and busted hands. Not to mention his goddamn walk’s fucked up from his foot being drilled through. Shit, even when he’s all perfect and unbruised, his nose will tell you everything you need to know. </p><p> </p><p>But, hearing those words one after the other had ignited something. Something he didn’t know was there waiting inside him. </p><p> </p><p>Was it pain? Yeah. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And something else entirely. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He takes a gulp of his drink and sets it down with shaking hands. “Yeah, well, me too,”  he scoffs.</p><p> </p><p><i>Knew him.</i> Karen used past tense. That wasn’t lost on him. Karen knew Red for a longer time than he had. Did he even know the man beyond the mask?<i> You did. Be honest. That damn idiot basically told you everything with, “May I call you ‘Frank?’”</i> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Shit, Red was definitely something else.</p><p> </p><p>He babbled in court with the same passion and warmth as he did when he fought. Frank had fought him at least twice in the darkness of the rooftops and alleyway. Their grunts and ragged breaths only to be heard by the two of them. Yet, Red,<i> the goddamn altar boy</i>, defended him under the bright lights, for all the world to see. Muttering about how he, Frank “The Punisher” Castle, was a hero. How he, Frank “charged with multiple capital crimes” Castle, has helped the city.<i> Helped the city? Damn it, Red. You never really understood it, did you? I wanted revenge, to punish them, not help.</i></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“... who he was, right?” With his thoughts cut off, he inhaled sharply and schooled his breathing to keep his rising anger at bay. Frank glanced at Karen from just staring at his coffee cup.<i> Damn, I need another one. </i></p><p> </p><p>“Hm?” He tries. </p><p> </p><p>“You knew who he was, right?” Karen repeated. He felt her stare at him but just shrugged it out. </p><p> </p><p>“Nah, we never really spoke much.” Thinking back, he only ever spoke formally with Murdock twice. Once in the hospital and once during his trial. Karen didn’t need to know about the other times.</p><p> </p><p>“Huh.” Karen said filled with amusement. “Don’t worry. I knew about his other thing.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <i>There it is again. What is it with Karen Page and her love of the past tense?</i>
</p><p> </p><p>“What do you want then, huh? I am not exactly sure why we’re here talking about Murdock.” Frank looked at her. “All I know for sure is that he hates me for ganging up my trial.”</p><p> </p><p>“Daredevil’s dead– ” Karen pauses and tries to pull herself together, “and Matt Murdock is officially missing but I know you can put two and two together.” </p><p> </p><p>Shit, if that doesn’t make Frank snap he doesn’t know what will.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The ex-marine suddenly sat still on the bench. His hair now fully disheveled with the wind howling from the east. His body automatically became ramrod straight, as if to brace itself for the news he just heard. Death was familiar.<i> But why does it still hurt like this?</i></p><p> </p><p>Frank stayed still; he was immovable.</p><p> </p><p>Frank stayed still despite his body wanting to go on a rampage. He wanted to riot. He wanted to just lose it because<i> oh my god, that fucking idiot finally did it to himself. Did he sacrifice himself just to save this city? This city, unworthy of all his love and all his efforts.</i></p><p> </p><p>Frank stayed still but he wanted to scoff at his thoughts. His hand itching to curl around the familiar shape of a gun. </p><p> </p><p>He stayed still but why?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <i>No ones going to stop you now, Frank. Isn’t that what you’ve been wishing for this entire time? You have no one to leave now, Frank. You can go on and do shit you like. Huh, how about we start with those fuck-ups by the docks? No more, “Jesus Christ, Red. Just let me be!” No more, “HA! Red, you didn’t see that one, didn’t you?” No more, “Oh fuck, stay with me, Red. Please. Just stay with me.”</i>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Frank stayed still because there’s nothing supporting him now. One move and he’ll fall. His walls will crumble down in a blink of an eye when he spent sleepless nights building them. There’s no more unstoppable red-clad half-measure to keep him going.</p>
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